In today’s fast-paced world, the term "self-care" often conjures up images of spa days, luxurious bubble baths, and extra scoops of ice cream (non-dairy for me, please). I do love those things! They’re certainly enjoyable, even beneficial at times; but, they are also short-lived and can potentially compensate for moods or choices we aren’t comfortable with.
Dr. Kristen Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion, says "...most of us are already quite skilled at being kind, understanding and compassionate to those we care about. To realize the benefits of self-compassion, therefore, all you need to do is turn around and apply those same skills toward yourself. It's easier than you think, and it could change your life."
What a radical idea! Just take care of ourselves the same way we take care of those we love?! The airlines have it right — they instruct us to put our own oxygen mask on before helping others. In fact, the only way we can help others, is if we have enough reserves in our own self-care and compassion repository to share.
Here’s the biggest challenge: We have become accustomed to some societally-derived mandate that dictates we take care of others before taking care of ourselves. So, how do we shift this belief pattern and start prioritizing our own self-care?
The key to a lifetime of sustainable self-care lies in your mindset. Yes, that’s right…what attitudes, beliefs and self-perceptions do you have about yourself and self-care in general? What comes up for you when I suggest you take care of yourself first? What barriers do you have to prioritizing this important way of being?
The type of self-care I’m talking about is a mindset dedicated to taking care of your physical, mental and emotional well-being as a priority. There are so many ways to do this. Some of the things that sustain me are my mindfulness practice, the food I cook and eat, keeping a watch on my personal boundaries, and regular art-making.
Here are 5 steps to get you started on developing a regular self-care routine that sticks:
Look Inward: Understanding and acknowledging your needs is the first step. This means tuning into your body, heart and mind, identifying what is needed and making those needs a priority. Whether it’s physical exercise or rest, recognition of emotions or letting go, or intellectual stimulation or shut-off, social time or solo time we can’t know where to begin if we don’t first tune in to the clues…and listen!
Discover Your Why: Whatever it is you find after looking inward and listening to the truth of that quiet inner voice, it needs to be sustainable. When you embark on something new, you must have a reason and know that the change you desire is equal to the effort you are willing to invest. Having a goal can help with motivation.
Take Action: Now that you know what you need, it’s time to prioritize those things. This might include setting boundaries and saying ‘no’ to something or someone, in order to say ‘yes’ to yourself. And remember that sometimes “action” may be intentional INaction…and that would probably be just right for that moment.
Permit the Straying: Committing to something new or breaking old patterns can be difficult. It’s more productive to go in knowing it won’t work 100% of the time. This isn’t an excuse to stray from yourself because it’s an easier choice. Rather it’s taking comfort in knowing that we all stray and you are not “bad” or “wrong” for veering off course.
Recommit Gracefully: Ok, so you veered…no big deal! You can simply return to center, and recommit to beginning again. In these moments, we might have a tendency to empower that inner critic and believe what she might be telling you. I invite you to tell her that although you appreciate her looking out for your best interests, you can take it from here. What you practice gets stronger, right? So choose what you will practice – beating yourself up for “failing” or caring for yourself and your needs with the same grace and kindness you would offer a friend in this moment.
At the end of the day, self-care involves a proactive approach to maintaining your health and happiness, rather than a reactive one that only addresses problems after they've become significant. It is about shifting your mindset to recognize your own needs, and making a consistent effort to meet them.
Now, consider this: how you would show up in the world if you did that?
Are you ready to make that shift? A mindset of true self-care requires a commitment to making your well-being a priority every day. It’s about more than just occasional pampering now and then; it’s about creating a lifestyle that supports your health, happiness, and overall quality of life. By consistently caring for your physical, mental, and emotional needs, you cultivate a foundation of resilience and inner peace that can sustain you through life's challenges. Embrace self-care as a mindset, and you'll discover a deeper, more fulfilling sense of well-being.
Because summer is a time for fun and also when we tend to relax and take care of ourselves, I thought it was a perfect time to introduce self-care bingo! Start building a habit of self-care that is sustainable long after the summer is over. Join me by downloading your Bingo card and instructions. Post it somewhere that you will see it everyday as a reminder to prioritize your self-care.
Opmerkingen