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Writer's pictureVanessa Weiner

Why is No One Talking About the Emotional Side of Breast Cancer?

When it comes to breast cancer, the primary focus is on surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, managing side effects, decisions based on outcomes data, and the relentless pursuit of a cure. I think we can all agree that it is critical to heal the physical disease. Unfortunately, the emotional toll of breast cancer often gets little attention. And no one can deny the impact that this disease takes on our heart and mind. It’s time to break the silence, and shed some light on this conversation.


The Silent Struggle

Breast cancer is not just a physical disease; it is an emotional rollercoaster. From the moment we find a lump or get called back for additional imaging, we face a whirlwind of feelings—shock, fear, anger, grief, and uncertainty. These emotions can be too overwhelming to process alone, misunderstood by those closest to us, and too cumbersome to be properly addressed by our surgeons or oncologist.  The inadvertent sidelining of our feelings around this disease can force us to stuff it down and not know where to turn or how to ask for help. 


The Stigma of the Fight

Good natured well-wishers have often told us to “stay strong” and “keep fighting.” These battle references can lead to continued silence as we can feel pressure to show that we are in it for the “fight.” Cancer treatment is also beyond our control. And, even if we do everything “right” we might not be able to “beat” it. If someone “lost their battle to cancer” does that mean they didn’t try hard enough in their battle against the disease? “Framing cancer in military terms made treatment seem more difficult and left people feeling more fatalistic about the illness, believing there was little they could do to reduce their risk.”


The Gaps in the Healthcare System 

I adored my treatment team. Comfort with them was a primary goal at the beginning of this journey. Remember that 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in the United States…that’s over 365,000 women who will need care in the US alone. That is waaay too many patients for our dedicated (and overworked) docs to be able to take the extra time necessary to discuss our emotional wound. That being said, who IS manning that ship? Emotional support isn’t often integrated into the standard of care and is inaccessible to thousands of women. Without it though, how can we be expected to make a full recovery?


The Power of Emotional Healing

Ignoring the emotional side of breast cancer can have detrimental effects. Like the game of whack-a-mole, random symptoms come out sideways, when and where we least expect them. Stress contributes to 75-90% of visits to the doctors’ office…and that doesn’t even factor in someone who has (had) cancer. Unaddressed emotional distress can lead to anxiety, depression, reduced immune function and physical illness like heart disease, GI issues, and sleep disturbance. Conversely, acknowledging and addressing these emotional challenges and connecting with others also going through a similar experience can significantly improve health outcomes.


The Next Steps

The emotional side of breast cancer is a critical, yet often overlooked, aspect of the journey. It’s time to acknowledge that healing the mind and the heart is AS important as healing the body. Let’s connect, create and heal together.



Does any part of this resonate with you? If so, I'd love to talk more about Cancer Recovery Coaching, and if it's right for you. Book your free Discovery Call here. There is no obligation and everything is confidential.





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